Lockdown Thoughts part 1
25th April 2020

In the field behind my house where I’m staying during our flood repairs. I use my time with nature as a reset, where I can forget all the worries about my business / the future plus my concerns for friends and family. Every day I get out to watch the bees, listen to bird song and just let nature wrap it’s healing arms around me. I need it. 

To be honest it’s been a totally crap year anyway, with our house flooding and living out of bags for months. Then we have this situation now, which has totally decimated our business. It would be enough to drive anyone to drink and to shrink inside. I need structure in my life, consistency, when everything goes haywire I can too. I know the signs and they were there.

But I’m determined not to be like that this time, I need to keep positive. I’m not giving up. I’m fighting to stay ahead. I’m looking at the positives again and again. I’m alive. I have a wonderful family and caring friends. We live a simple country life anyway and keep ourselves to ourselves so lockdown for us is not that different from the norm except that we don't have our home to live in. Sure there are sacrifices but we’ve established a routine that keeps us all sane. Helping my daughter with her schooling has been such a bonus, as a proud dad I burst with more pride as she reads her first book by herself. It’s these victories that keep me going. 

I know from others how rough some people are finding this isolation and how quickly everyone wants to return to normal life. Well my friends that’s gone for now there is no normal life anymore, things will be different for all of us. To coin the phrase of a friend who I’ve sadly lost touch with, now is a new normal. It’s how we adapt and change to it that will define us. I’ve started by doing these two fundraising webinars using Zoom ( which is never heard of before this ) for NHS PPE. I just wanted to do something. They raised over £1000 and that made me feel really great. Moreover the reaction to people on the webinars made me feel really great too, it made me forget about what's happening around us...for a while at least. In fact it’s started a whole new though process in my head, thinking about the future, planning for the future. Because there will be one, a different one yes, but there will be a future.

Of course writing something so personal invites the nasties and trolls but I don’t care. I’ve written this straight and in one go from the heart. No editing. Because I know some are struggling missing loved ones, worrying about work, paying bills etc. All the big stuff that occupies our lives. I guess I just wanted to reach out and show the positives that I see through all this. The way that our community spirit has returned. Not through Twitter ( which has exploded into pure nastiness some days ) but with the simple acts of kindness to others. With the appreciation of the NHS and all that it stands for. And an appreciation of the nature that surrounds us, that good people are fighting to preserve. I've been watching Chris and Meghan's show on Twitter and loving the feel good nature factor on there, it's inspiring. 

So whilst it all seems overwhelming it’s not. There is light. There is a future we just all have to try to get there the best way that we can. As the Queen said “we will meet again” and somewhere someday we will.


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